Public Restrooms


You try to avoid them like the plague.  You’d subject yourself to hours of discomfort rather than set foot in one.  Public restrooms.  We’ve all used them, usually as a last resort to avoid an accident.  I really have a hard time understanding how people can be so inconsiderate when it comes time to use one. 

First off we visit one of the most annoying situations, as well as one of the most critical, that you’ll encounter in a public washroom.  Picture, if you will; you’ve gotten up from your table at the restaurant and made a beeline for the facilities, convinced that you won’t be able to hold it until after not only dinner but the drive home as well.  After breathing a sigh of relief at finding an empty stall you plunk yourself down, do your business, and reach for the toilet paper.  But what is this?  The roll is empty!  It’s past the point where you can just move to another, adequately equipped, stall (should such a thing exist).  At this point you have two options. 

If you have the fortune of a neighbor in the next stall you can ask them to pass reinforcements under the wall.  They will usually oblige, having been in the situation themselves at some point.

If you are alone with your embarrassment you have the option of venturing out of the safety of your stall to forage for paper products.  Obvious targets are the stall next door or the paper towel dispenser.  This method is not for the faint of heart as it carries with it the danger of being caught in the middle of your quest, pants around your ankles.  Then you have to stammer an excuse and scurry back to your stall.  Dinner is usually over at this point because you don’t want to risk running into this person.  Ever, ever again.
 Who in the world thought it would be a good idea to install hair dryers in public bathrooms as a means of drying your hands?  Wait, I just looked it up.  George Clemens.  I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve seen women wash their hands and dry them on the seat of their pants rather than use those things.  I can’t speak for the men's room as I’ve never been in one while there were men in there.  Also I suspect men don’t often wash their hands. 
 Bathrooms in public parks carry their own brand of peculiarity.  Graffiti.  It’s everywhere.  Usually nothing of interest (Molly + Jake 4eva! or Here I sit all broken hearted…) but seeing all of those writings from all of those people makes me wonder why the hell anyone would want to attain immortality next to where complete strangers poo. 
Something I never thought I would encounter in a public restroom.  Someone taking a photo of themselves in the mirror.  In a public restroom?  Really?  I hope these people are proficient with Photoshop since I can’t imagine why they would want a picture of themselves in such a setting.  Maybe they got tired of taking photos in their own bathroom at home? 
 And let us not forget the burden that falls to your shoulders when you enter a bathroom and are greeted with a wall of stench graciously left behind by the previous occupant.  Not only do you have to suffer through it yourself but it always seems that there is a line waiting when you come out to whom you are forced to try to explain away the odor.

Yes, dear readers, there are worse things that occur in public restrooms.  Wee on the seats, people engaging in immoral acts, that jerk who just HAS to make those unsettling grunting noises in the stall next to you.  But really, I couldn’t bring myself to draw those.  And would you really want to see them?

2 comments:

  1. This is so funny!

    I believe what you mentioned about men. My sis told me that when she use to work at a restaurant, the women's restroom trash bin would be overflowing with paper towels...paper towels all over the floor at the end of the night. In the men's restroom, the trash wouldn't even be filled. Yuck!

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  2. In defense of all men, if we washed our hands every time we touch our junk during the day, we would all be compulsive hand washers.

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