Okay so that may be a bit farfetched. But I ask you, what good could possibly be attained by the bad habit of scratching your ears with your keys? Like your doctor is going to look in them and say “Gee, Louie, them are some clean ears! Say, what do you do to keep them canals so vacant? Car keys, eh? You’ll have to show me how to do that!”
My burglar biter doesn’t seem quite as stupid now, does it? The way I see it, there are a lot worse things I could be doing habitually. Like being one of those people who leaves about a twelfth of a serving left in the bottom of the juice box or milk carton.
One that gets me every time is perfectly capable people who intentionally walk with a limp disguised as a swagger in an attempt to look cool. I’m not sure if this walk is a byproduct of having their pants around their knees or if their AF1’s or Nike’s are contoured to give them that shuffle. Whenever I see my neighbor walk out of his house with his “Wounded in the War” strut my brain just starts chanting “Oontz Oontz!” over and over. Y’know, the sound that bass makes when it’s cranked up too loud?