Cause and Effect

Oh yes, ladies and gentlemen, Aristotle was definitely on to something.  Every action having a reaction and whatnot.  While under normal circumstances not a cause for concern (“If I eat this sandwich, my hunger will go away!”) there are times when the action isn’t at all what you intended and you would trade your favorite Prada shoes to get it back.  But guess what, darlin…some things are just irreversible.

It starts innocently enough.  You are waiting at the bus stop or perhaps in line at the grocery store when you notice that the woman in front of you is simply glowing with life.  Wanting to share in her joyous anticipation you smile your sweetest smile and…

Your cheerful thoughts come to a screeching halt as she confirms, quite aggressively, that no she is NOT pregnant.  You stand with your mouth slightly agape, your cheeks on fire, and stammer a barely audible apology. 

I’m sure that all of the parents out there, as well as aunts, uncles, and possibly cousins, can relate to this one.  Your toddler (or niece, nephew…you get the idea) is a little sponge, soaking up everything around them and repeating it back to you with their little hearts all aglow with pride.  Yet we inevitably let something slip that cannot be taken back.

You just know that little Billy or Sally will wait either until they are in church or in the company of strangers to whip our their new phrase.  And does anyone look at the little angel?  Oh no, those accusing eyes are firmly trained on you.

With all of this new technology you would think that people would take advantage of the “Lock Key” feature of their mobile devices to avoid this scenario.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve answered my phone only to hear the sounds of the caller’s cell phone rattling around in their purse or pocket.  Not such a big deal, you call them back and you both have a few laughs.  But you know that there will be that one time when you most definitely do NOT want to Butt-Dial someone.

This guy not only put the noose around his own neck by sneaking around but he is unaware that he also stepped onto the platform.  Miss Marcie is just waiting for him to get home so she can kick him off the edge.

Sometimes we let others influence us into the point of no return.  You’re out with a bunch of friends having a few drinks at the local dive and, expecting a great laugh, you dare your buddy to hit on the girl who just came in with her mammoth boyfriend.  Much to your dismay, he not only accepts the challenge and walks back with her phone number but now he has a dare for you. 

Man Law dictates that you can’t just punk out of the dare, you’d never hear the end of it.  So you find yourself sitting in a tattoo chair at two in the morning while some guy with green hair stands over you, drawing god knows what since you were too out of it to remember what you chose in the first place.  Talk about irreversible.

And finally I present you with the effect of ignoring the “If you want something done right, do it yourself.” philosophy.  Skydiving, parachuting, bungee jumping, hang gliding, they are all the same.  You are entrusting your very life in the hands of someone who doesn’t know you and could care less whether you bounce or splat. 

I think I would prefer to splat.

Cause and effect.  Aristotle was definitely on to something.

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