5 Reasons a dragon makes a better pet than a goldfish

I know, I know, it’s the question that’s been burning inside of you for years.  It’s the age old dilemma.  Do I want a dragon or do I want a goldfish?  While no one but you can answer that question (well, actually I could but I don’t want that responsibility) here are a few helpful tips from the Pro Dragon argument.

Menial Tasks:
    Your faithful dragon companion will be more than happy to wake up early to fetch your newspaper, thus saving it from not only the morning dew but also from your neighbor’s sprinkler system.  
     The goldfish however will stare blankly at the newspaper until the sprinklers turn on at which time it will begin to swim frantically, believing the water droplets landing in it’s bowl to be food.

    Nothing will make you feel younger and more vibrant than a ride atop your mythical beast as it soars through the sky high above the noise and pollution of the city below.  Feel the wind blowing tangles in your hair all the while inducing envy in the hearts of the commuters stuck in traffic down on the freeway.
    The goldfish…doesn’t fare as well in this department. 

Home Security:
    Nothing says “Safety” like a watch-dragon guarding the premises.  Even if a burglar were crazy enough to sneak onto your property they wouldn’t make it away with anything…including his or her life.
    If you entrust the safety of your home and property to a goldfish then you deserve to be ripped off.

    Imagine if you will being stranded in a frigid climate with zero visibility in the middle of the night.  It happens more than you would think!  A dragon would absolutely be able to fly you to safety but not until morning when the haze burns off.  But don’t fret!  That same dragon is able to breathe fire, thus saving you both from hypothermia and death.
    If you brought your trusty goldfish on this expedition it wouldn’t be a matter of which of you would survive.  Instead it becomes which of you will be the first to go. 

And finally…Cool Factor:
    Strangers, friends, work-related acquaintances…all will be dazzled when you take your pet dragon for it’s evening walk.  You could be wearing old ratty stretch pants, a stained wifebeater, crunchy sandals, it doesn’t matter.  With a dragon your cool points are increased immeasurably. 
    Taking your fish for a walk however will likely have the exact opposite result.  A leather jacket immediately becomes a flamboyant Hawaiian shirt.  Those trusty Doc Martens transform into dollar store rejects.  At least that’s how it will feel when the same strangers and other folk start pointing and laughing.

So you see, dear readers, the answer is quite simple.  Or is it?  Should we also visit also the reasons that goldfish make better pets than dragons?  Perhaps we will…someday.

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